It is hard to exude self-confidence when you don’t feel it or feel good about yourself; after all, you are who and what you think you are. Let’s be real. Just about every one of us has some physical insecurities. We may wish that this or that was physically bigger or smaller, firmer, or more toned. Others judge us by how we look. We may even physically compare ourselves to others and feel inferior or superior, yet never good enough. Boom!
If you ask the average man and woman on the street or close to you what they want out of life, most of them may tell you happiness, peace of mind, and to be healthy; and some may say to become rich or financially comfortable. Yet, many of us have heard the saying that money can’t buy happiness and we have witnessed some people self-destruct when they’ve had too much or not enough of anything along with other various reasons.
If you ask people what happiness entails, you will probably hear statements involving physical, materialistic, or superficial things like weight loss; undergoing surgery by getting a tummy tuck for a flatter tummy, rounded butt, flawless skin through chemical skincare regimens and the list is endless. While these are great if your self-esteem is whack, happiness shouldn’t be superficial.
As innocent as these realities are, the pursuit of happiness in society seems to be excessively tied more to how you look rather than who you positively or internally are or aspire to grow to become. Some people intuitively realize this, yet this can be an ongoing battle when it seems like your character and worth are based on if you look like a hot and drop-dead gorgeous Instagram or magazine model.
The belief that appearance equals contentment and is the solution of all your life’s problems is a misguided theory and a terrible fact at worst. Yes, that a tummy tuck may look fabulous; you finally get to rock that bikini with your friends at the beach.
Having a butt lift is excellent, your backside looks like Kim Kardashian, but answer this, have these changes completed the puzzle and made you truthfully self-fulfilled and whole again, internally, emotionally, and mentally? Have they made you physically healthier? Did they remove any character flaws you may have or improve your personal growth? Dig for a deeper reason or reasons for your choices. You may discover things about yourself you never knew.
Face Your Feelings
More often than usual, quick fixes are what they are – short-lived. Some people want something or a problem to take over their reality, and they feel the need to address it immediately. They want a figurative “fast-food” body without the wait and without high calories. They do not want to deal with the long wait time or put in the physical work in the gym or feel bogged down by sticking to months of strict dietary changes. They want what works here and now.
Well, that is fantastic. However, if your need for a butt lift, liposuction, cosmetic surgery, body enhancements, and breast implants don’t align with your feel-good spirit, it is short-lived. Let me explain.
In life, your motivation to do anything can be because it makes you feel good, or it is the right thing to do. But, these two reasons must align somehow to make you reap a better and lasting feeling from the decisions you make, which is most times spontaneous.
So, for women, if looking at top models in magazines or seeing your women friends with what looks like big and perfect breasts makes you feel inadequate at the way your boobs look, get breast implants. If your butt looks off, then butt lifts to the rescue. I am not encouraging or discouraging you either way. The same applies to men regarding body enhancements.
Examine how you see things and your reasons for your decisions. If you feel it is right, then why doesn't the feeling endure the test of public scrutiny and criticism? Acting on how you feel is an easy trap where most people can fall victim. This is because it allows you to cover up what you see as your physical cracks and blemishes, your displeasure, and is a physical facade. These feelings may bring a temporary sense of relief and satisfaction but can leave you wanting more or regretting the former.
Anyway, it is great to look good, no doubt, but when you do the right thing for the right reasons, the feeling lasts longer. Furthermore, you feel proud when remembering how that one incident changed your life and situation for the better.
Overall, when you do what is right and have a greater purpose beyond the materialistic or superficial, you not only feel fulfilled, but you also build your self-esteem, self-confidence, and your life becomes meaningful.
You Are Beautiful or Handsome Just the Way You Are When You Genuinely And Consistently Do Your Best To Radiate Your Inner Glow, Glam, And Energy
A hard and bitter pill to swallow, especially with the societal portrayal and definition of beauty, beauty is also your inner self and what you consistently exude. If you have a negative and nasty attitude, no makeup or body enhancements will hide that flaw.
Every one of you is beautiful. You only feel left out and not perfect when you have shifted from your center. When you move from who you are into other people’s realities and superficial expectations, you can become plagued by doubts and weighted down by what you believe you lack or could have.
Nobody can be you – remember that. It does matter how much of you they possess, you are unique, and there are no two of you even if you are a twin. When you acknowledge and accept who you are, you radiate it. You feel that smile coming off the corner of your lips for no reason. You say a prayer for the homeless man as you walk past them on the street. You have the power to control and turn around what you feel isn’t right. Believe it now; it starts from the inside of you, not the outside. Yes, sometimes a broken exterior can tarnish your internal potential, but it starts from the inside of you.
Emphasize On the Meaning, Not the Feeling
This might not make sense to a lot of people, but the truth is the power according to a thought or idea affects your life. There are a million reasons to be sad, but one spark of genuine happiness is all you need to break down the wall of sadness around you.
Most people lack the skill to understand what a feeling means hence fail where they should succeed. A great feeling can make you feel bad, but if you thought it through, you could decipher it wasn’t for you and make better choices.
Feelings are important, but the meaning behind them is what we are and need to be. So, basing your life’s decisions solely on your emotions will leave you hurt and empty.
LIFE IS TRULY BEING FULFILLED, NOT JUST HAPPY, RICH, OR PHYSICALLY-ATTRACTIVE
When you have fulfillment, you have an inner strength that can transform any situation. Happiness isn’t fulfillment; it is a byproduct of it. When you are fulfilled, you automatically become happy.
Your before and after are lessons that teach you how successful your struggles were, but also a way to be fulfilled with what you have. In finding fulfillment, it is essential to look within.
Look inward – Whatever you are trying so hard to cover, change, or disregard, there is a solution within you. If you lack the courage to accept your body and flaws, you will still see them after a surgical procedure. That imperfection is in you until you fix it, it will affect everything outside of you.
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Don’t be too attached – Whether it is to a job, a relationship, or an object, don’t be too attached. Isn’t it ironic how when you let go, you have space for more and better things? Fulfillment is knowing when you are not in charge, learning to relinquish control, and just relaxing for nature to take its course.
Accept who you are – In a world where we can be hated for being ourselves and loved for being fake, this can be one of the most challenging things to do. It is perfect – your kindness, generosity, caring, and loving attitude can’t be made up or bought in a doctor’s office. So rather than think what or who you could superficially be, work on improving what defines you and why, and grow from there. The key is to accept who you are and evolve and resolve to personally grow and improve. Self-actualization is a journey where you may discover that you can constantly evolve and be refined.
Finally, it is easy to hide our flaws and shortcomings with makeup, surgeries, and other body enhancements, but the physical façade may not totally make you feel flawlessly fulfilled inside. No matter how much you hide or ignore it, how you feel inside will always slip or seep through a well-chiseled body.
As you try to find fulfillment in a chaotic world, zone into your good traits, and accept the thing you can’t change without allowing superficial nuances and worldly pressure to make you feel you are not enough. You can choose to feel fabulous without the permission of others and showing some humility is not bad either. Choosing to be flawlessly fulfilled inside and feeling confident in your “perfectly” imperfect essence will bring you peace of mind and happiness that lasts. You have so much to positively offer the world and it truly starts from within.
Repeat this mantra every day until you genuinely believe it: I AM ENOUGH.