How To Overcome Jealous Enemies and Keep It Classy
Image Source: Pixabay
Have you ever had a friend, family
member, or someone else who doesn't seem to be genuinely happy when you make something
good happen for you? It usually feels like they're angry or bitter enemies for
even the smallest milestones you attain.
It could be you finally setting up
an online business account or having friends shower you with love on your
birthday. It could be that you hit the gym, put in the work, dropped 20 pounds,
toned up, and look great in your clothes.It could be that you simply exist, and they see you as a thorn in their
side. You can easily say this person is jealous of you.
Many people may have someone who is
jealous of them but having a friend or family member who acts like a jealous enemy
can be even more painful or difficult to notice. However, there are times when
a person might be envious, but it can often be confused with jealousy. Hence,
you need to be sure what it is before you go further.
Is The Difference Between Jealousy & Envy?
Jealousy and envy are two terms that
usually travel together but are very different. Oftentimes, you can hear people
use the word "jealous" in a sentence when what they mean is envy.
However, there's an easy way to differentiate both.
Envy is the emotion you feel when
you long for someone else's advantage. It could be anything like a
scholarship, a good home, stable relationships, material things, etc. Usually
being envious doesn't manifest with malicious intent or negative feelings
towards the other party. It's simply an innocent feeling of wishing you had a
Jealousy, on the other hand, means a
vengeful, spiteful, or apprehensive feeling towards someone because of what
they have. For example, a situation where a new employee wins the "Employee
of the Month" in her first month of work. The previous winner may become
jealous and decide to do everything possible to jeopardize the chances of the
Also, people who are jealous of you
because of your accomplishments or a specific position you hold can tend to compete
with you maliciously and secretly. It can also push them to try and defame or
ruin your image on social media or with others. One important thing you should
know is to never blame yourself because there are different reasons why haters
Do People Get Jealous For What Seems Like No Reason?
You might find this hard to believe
but the reasons why people get jealous have more to do with the jealous person
and not you. Most of the time, the jealous person struggles with the fear of
being replaced, outshined, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, inferiority, and
a lack of self-love. You'll often find that a jealous “green-eyed monster”
finds something about you that makes them feel inadequate. These feelings are
then projected via negative thoughts and actions against you, which is
different from the feeling of envy.
For instance, a man may be jealous
of his friend who has a good physique and health, a nice house, a stable source of
income, a beautiful wife, the latest car, and an overall happy-go-lucky demeanor.
Instead of feeling genuinely happy for his friend and inquiring about or
working on how he can improve his life, he might begin to compare his life and
material possessions with his friend’s life.
This may make him feel like a
failure and thus, angry and frustrated. In normal circumstances, a jealous
person is meant to seek therapy for these underlying issues. However, most
people ignore these feelings and continue to live with and act out negatively
As a result, feeling inadequate
because of someone else's life or possessions can lead to little digs and
insults. You might hear remarks like "Do you really need another phone? That
could feed the homeless people." or "I saw you and little family
cruising in your little 2021 luxury family truck the other day…must be nice."
And you might think that these comments will come to a stop once the jealous
person begins to make more money. However, the opposite is the case. Most of
the time, they're never satisfied with their achievements and will continue to make
comparisons in their head.
If you have such a person as a
friend or colleague, it can be difficult and stressful to deal with them.
Fortunately, there are different ways to deal with jealous haters and keep it
Image Source: Pixabay
For Dealing With Jealous People
If you have jealous people in your
life (which many people do), it's better to keep it classy and not stoop low to
their level. Keep in mind that the more you keep it together and not allow yourself to stoop to their level, the more they may act out and push boundaries almost
to a juvenile or immature level. Here are a few tips to help you do this with class or elegance:
One way that jealous people thrive
is by trying to put you down constantly, belittle, frustrate, or “one-up” you, and
the best way to avoid that is by limiting their access. Keep your environment
positive and fill it with only people you know who genuinely care about your
happiness. Ignore the negativity and maintain your composure whenever you
happen to have them around. It can be difficult to do because they may cross
the lines to bring you out of character to make themselves feel better.
You can run into someone you haven’t
seen in 20 years who was jealous of you, then. Believe it or not, they can
still harbor unresolved feelings of jealousy or inadequacy when they see you and
interact jealously, negatively, passive-aggressively, and/or blatantly.
Do yourself a favor. End the
interaction with them ASAP and as politely and friendly as possible. Smile, wave, wish them
well, and be on your way. Consider if you think it's a good or poor idea to exchange phone numbers and keep in touch. Don’t set
yourself up to be their figurative punching bag to relieve their jealous feelings.
Cut them off and keep them out of your life no matter what ploys they attempt
to keep you pulled in. Jealous folks don’t mean you well so keep them at bay.
Keep in mind that NO ONE is immune from adversities in life and that anything one has can, unfortunately, be taken in an instant whether it's through loss, failing health, failed relationships, struggles, pain, etc. It can be difficult or impossible to be jealous of others when you realize that everyone is simply human.
Image Source: Pixabay
You're Not The Issue
As mentioned earlier, jealous people
deal with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, which is not your fault. So,
you don't have to change anything about yourself or kiss their asses in the bid
to be the bigger person. You may even feel bad for them but ignore their
emotional immaturity and practice self-love by putting yourself first. Tell
yourself you're not the problem and don't have to deal with their issues. It
can be easier to deal with jealous folks if you happen to cross paths with them
if you realize that it’s about their unresolved mental or internal issues and
you do not have to allow that to ruin your day.
Jealousy With Positivity
Another way to deal with jealous
people is by acting differently or unpredictably, yet genuinely. Since you know that jealousy
is rooted in their lack of self-acceptance, self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy,
etc., you can be more positive and less defensive when their acts of jealousy
happen. This does not mean that you tolerate threats against your safety or
well-being or allow them to physically harm you.
If your friend makes a comment, that
seems like it’s out of jealousy, about you having a “million-dollar job”, you
could say something like, “You are amazing at what you do with x, y, and z."
Choosing to give some compliments is a mature move and may help to ease their insecurities.
Then again, it may not. However, at least you stood in your power and kept it
If there's one thing jealous people
want, it's to put you down with their criticisms and insults. And the worst
thing you can do is let them succeed. Be sure to keep being the real you and
don't change the essence of who you are for anyone.
Almost everyone may have someone or
several people who express jealousy towards them, either because of what they
have, social status, relationships, physical attractiveness, or fitness, etc. Jealous
people are often jealous because of their own lack of self-love and acceptance.
You might want to be a bigger person
and try to change them; however, it doesn't work most times. Instead, try out
the tips mentioned above to overcome jealousy and keep it classy, and you'll be
mentally free of their criticisms or insults sooner than you expect. Don’t
allow jealousy to be a part of your lifestyle when you can keep your lifestyle
classy without jealousy.