How To Overcome Jealous Enemies and Keep It Classy

Image Source: Pixabay

Have you ever had a friend, family member, or someone else who doesn't seem to be genuinely happy when you make something good happen for you? It usually feels like they're angry or bitter enemies for even the smallest milestones you attain.

It could be you finally setting up an online business account or having friends shower you with love on your birthday. It could be that you hit the gym, put in the work, dropped 20 pounds, toned up, and look great in your clothes. It could be that you simply exist, and they see you as a thorn in their side. You can easily say this person is jealous of you.

Many people may have someone who is jealous of them but having a friend or family member who acts like a jealous enemy can be even more painful or difficult to notice. However, there are times when a person might be envious, but it can often be confused with jealousy. Hence, you need to be sure what it is before you go further.

What Is The Difference Between Jealousy & Envy?

Jealousy and envy are two terms that usually travel together but are very different. Oftentimes, you can hear people use the word "jealous" in a sentence when what they mean is envy. However, there's an easy way to differentiate both.

Envy is the emotion you feel when you long for someone else's advantage. It could be anything like a scholarship, a good home, stable relationships, material things, etc. Usually being envious doesn't manifest with malicious intent or negative feelings towards the other party. It's simply an innocent feeling of wishing you had a specific thing.

Jealousy, on the other hand, means a vengeful, spiteful, or apprehensive feeling towards someone because of what they have. For example, a situation where a new employee wins the "Employee of the Month" in her first month of work. The previous winner may become jealous and decide to do everything possible to jeopardize the chances of the new employee.

Also, people who are jealous of you because of your accomplishments or a specific position you hold can tend to compete with you maliciously and secretly. It can also push them to try and defame or ruin your image on social media or with others. One important thing you should know is to never blame yourself because there are different reasons why haters are jealous.

Why Do People Get Jealous For What Seems Like No Reason?

You might find this hard to believe but the reasons why people get jealous have more to do with the jealous person and not you. Most of the time, the jealous person struggles with the fear of being replaced, outshined, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, inferiority, and a lack of self-love. You'll often find that a jealous “green-eyed monster” finds something about you that makes them feel inadequate. These feelings are then projected via negative thoughts and actions against you, which is different from the feeling of envy.

For instance, a man may be jealous of his friend who has a good physique and health, a nice house, a stable source of income, a beautiful wife, the latest car, and an overall happy-go-lucky demeanor. Instead of feeling genuinely happy for his friend and inquiring about or working on how he can improve his life, he might begin to compare his life and material possessions with his friend’s life.

This may make him feel like a failure and thus, angry and frustrated. In normal circumstances, a jealous person is meant to seek therapy for these underlying issues. However, most people ignore these feelings and continue to live with and act out negatively about them.

As a result, feeling inadequate because of someone else's life or possessions can lead to little digs and insults. You might hear remarks like "Do you really need another phone? That could feed the homeless people." or "I saw you and little family cruising in your little 2021 luxury family truck the other day…must be nice." And you might think that these comments will come to a stop once the jealous person begins to make more money. However, the opposite is the case. Most of the time, they're never satisfied with their achievements and will continue to make comparisons in their head.

If you have such a person as a friend or colleague, it can be difficult and stressful to deal with them. Fortunately, there are different ways to deal with jealous haters and keep it classy.

Image Source: Pixabay

Tips For Dealing With Jealous People

If you have jealous people in your life (which many people do), it's better to keep it classy and not stoop low to their level. Keep in mind that the more you keep it together and not allow yourself to stoop to their level, the more they may act out and push boundaries almost to a juvenile or immature level. Here are a few tips to help you do this with class or elegance:

Set Boundaries

One way that jealous people thrive is by trying to put you down constantly, belittle, frustrate, or “one-up” you, and the best way to avoid that is by limiting their access. Keep your environment positive and fill it with only people you know who genuinely care about your happiness. Ignore the negativity and maintain your composure whenever you happen to have them around. It can be difficult to do because they may cross the lines to bring you out of character to make themselves feel better.

You can run into someone you haven’t seen in 20 years who was jealous of you, then. Believe it or not, they can still harbor unresolved feelings of jealousy or inadequacy when they see you and interact jealously, negatively, passive-aggressively, and/or blatantly.

Do yourself a favor. End the interaction with them ASAP and as politely and friendly as possible. Smile, wave, wish them well, and be on your way. Consider if you think it's a good or poor idea to exchange phone numbers and keep in touch. Don’t set yourself up to be their figurative punching bag to relieve their jealous feelings. Cut them off and keep them out of your life no matter what ploys they attempt to keep you pulled in. Jealous folks don’t mean you well so keep them at bay.

Keep in mind that NO ONE is immune from adversities in life and that anything one has can, unfortunately, be taken in an instant whether it's through loss, failing health, failed relationships, struggles, pain, etc. It can be difficult or impossible to be jealous of others when you realize that everyone is simply human.

Image Source: Pixabay

Know You're Not The Issue

As mentioned earlier, jealous people deal with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, which is not your fault. So, you don't have to change anything about yourself or kiss their asses in the bid to be the bigger person. You may even feel bad for them but ignore their emotional immaturity and practice self-love by putting yourself first. Tell yourself you're not the problem and don't have to deal with their issues. It can be easier to deal with jealous folks if you happen to cross paths with them if you realize that it’s about their unresolved mental or internal issues and you do not have to allow that to ruin your day.

Disarm Jealousy With Positivity

Another way to deal with jealous people is by acting differently or unpredictably, yet genuinely. Since you know that jealousy is rooted in their lack of self-acceptance, self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, etc., you can be more positive and less defensive when their acts of jealousy happen. This does not mean that you tolerate threats against your safety or well-being or allow them to physically harm you.

If your friend makes a comment, that seems like it’s out of jealousy, about you having a “million-dollar job”, you could say something like, “You are amazing at what you do with x, y, and z." Choosing to give some compliments is a mature move and may help to ease their insecurities. Then again, it may not. However, at least you stood in your power and kept it classy.

Keep Doing You

If there's one thing jealous people want, it's to put you down with their criticisms and insults. And the worst thing you can do is let them succeed. Be sure to keep being the real you and don't change the essence of who you are for anyone.

Almost everyone may have someone or several people who express jealousy towards them, either because of what they have, social status, relationships, physical attractiveness, or fitness, etc. Jealous people are often jealous because of their own lack of self-love and acceptance.

You might want to be a bigger person and try to change them; however, it doesn't work most times. Instead, try out the tips mentioned above to overcome jealousy and keep it classy, and you'll be mentally free of their criticisms or insults sooner than you expect. Don’t allow jealousy to be a part of your lifestyle when you can keep your lifestyle classy without jealousy.