How To Make Sense Out Of Things That Do Not Make Sense
Life can sometimes hit you with different challenges that may be difficult to or immediately comprehend. In this article, we are not referring to solving complex mathematical problems or equations when we refer to making sense out of things that do make sense but referring to complexities pertaining to life circumstances and situations involving human interactions.
Various challenges concerning things that do not make sense can happen at work, school, in relationships, and in other facets of life. Whether you're a young adult or older, you need a certain level of understanding to cognitively, emotionally, mentally, maturely, and sometimes legally analyze and effectively deal with different situations and experiences that do not make sense to you.
Learning to clearly, logically, and strategically process, navigate, figure out, and solve situations for life dilemmas, without confusion or anger or letting it affect your mental health, are skills that you need to be successful and grow in life. Sometimes the problem is not you, so you need to make sure that you remember that, but how?
Here are some ways that you can make sense of things that don't necessarily make sense to you:
Try To Evaluate
Comprehending that life is full of different challenges for everyone is the first step to making sense of things that don't make sense. It can be difficult when several negative events take place especially if they happen back-to-back. This can lead to stress or frustration especially when you don't understand why things are happening or if things are not adding up to make sense.
So, the first thing you should do is ask yourself some questions such as: What is the specific problem or pain that I am facing? Does this situation affect only me, and how? What's the worst thing that could happen? How do I wisely and strategically figure things out without becoming collateral damage in the chaos and confusion so that I execute and maintain effective solutions and results?
You may make observations, ask questions, ask follow-up questions, do some research, and investigate purported facts to work on situations that do not make sense. You may also seek feedback and guidance from close and trusted friends and loved ones, professionals, and experts to work on making sense of things (or from someone) whose statements, opinions, and/or views do not make sense to you.
Sometimes, it may be best to simply avoid or protect yourself from people or situations that are rooted in (constant) negative chaos and confusion where it is evident that they are willfully, intentionally, voluntarily, and maliciously being misleading, confusing, illogical, inconsistent, and untruthful unless you are professionally or unquestionably skilled to deal with them. This may help you to stay sane and rational.
Some folks may believe that if someone doesn’t make sense that there is probably no credence or truth to what they’re stating or asking. There could be some merit to this viewpoint, however, it is possible that any assertions, claims, thoughts, and opinions made are just not clearly, logically, and concisely laid out in a way that excludes any serious questions, doubts, and lack of undeniable, valid, and legitimate evidence and facts.
Asking someone for clarification when in doubt and paraphrasing what you heard from them is okay to ensure that what they stated makes sense to you. If any (repeated) requests for elaboration fail to make someone’s points clear and/or it is evident that they are being willfully, intentionally, voluntarily, and maliciously ambiguous, then realize that you may not get clarification or clarity out of your interactions with someone.
Understand That People Are Different
Every day, you probably interact with multiple people at school, work, restaurants, apartment complexes, etc. All these people think and act differently for their own reasons, which is bound to cause some confusion eventually. Some people may act out of ignorance, fear, for attention, self-serving interests, undiagnosed or diagnosed mental illness, or sheer malice. Some people act based on the way that they were raised or from learned behaviors that they allowed to become habits. Some people may behave primarily well while others may believe that it is their duty to misbehave.
Some people may see their way of thinking as correct and logical although they may be incorrect and illogical in their thoughts and actions. This can stem from a lack of knowledge, experience, or consideration for others. It can be easier to claim that their ideas are right and best so that they can get their way and hopefully without opposition or disagreement.
However, it's essential to understand that people are distinct. Sure, the way they express themselves might seem illogical to you, but in their minds, things may seem perfectly logical to them, or they simply may act solely or primarily out of emotions or a lower vibrational state. Learning that people will always be unique in the way they talk, act, think, and express themselves will help you decide to either engage or disengage appropriately and accordingly with them. Plus, it can go a long way in psychologically processing why people think or behave the way that they do.
Keep in mind that some people simply may lack good communication skills for whatever reason or may be visually- or hearing-impaired. Some people may be nervous or shy when speaking with others and their words may not come across coherently or in a manner that makes sense to you. Some people may be distraught or distressed after having just immediately experienced a tragic situation or loss. So, you may not understand what they are attempting to communicate or get across to you and especially if they are experiencing a medical emergency.
Exercise patience, empathy, lack of judgment, and common courtesy. You may need to immediately call 911 for help if time is of the essence and you cannot make sense of what happened or is happening with someone. Be willing to help calm them down emotionally, let them know that you sense that they may be afraid or a little shy or nervous and it’s okay. Let someone experiencing a medical emergency know that you would like to help them. If they are unable to speak (coherently), consider asking them to nod their head Yes or No to your questions and ask if they understand you. Interacting with others who do not make sense to you may be difficult, but not impossible especially if you are not accustomed to doing so.
Find A Happy Medium (If Possible)
Dealing with people otherwise who do not seem to make sense or state their uninformed opinion with ambiguity and without any proper reasoning or logic can be difficult. This can apply to some people who behave illogically in romantic relationships. Have you ever wondered how two people can swear that they love each other but constantly fuss, fight, argue, and criticize each other? In your mind, it may not make any sense why they are together. You may even ask them, and they may justify their relationship dynamics by claiming that sometimes a couple will often fuss and fight like cats and dogs and it just means that they really love each other.
Now, you may agree with them that sometimes, couples may have disagreements, but you may not agree that they should constantly fuss and fight with each other and fight like cats and dogs. And, since you’ve known one party or both parties for several years and do not wish to sever your relationship with them, you may decide to just excuse yourself from their presence when they squabble or decline their invitations to date nights with them and your spouse.
This scenario may be your happy medium when dealing with relationship dynamics that do not make sense to you. You still value their friendship with you, may question if they really respect you if they fight in your presence, and you decide that you will excuse yourself from their drama when they start to bicker with each other because you do not agree with their toxic and dysfunctional relationship style and their uninformed opinion that they have a great relationship. You have choices as to how you choose to properly deal with people and situations that do not make sense to you.
Emotions can run amok when dealing with people and circumstances that do not make sense. Frustration and anger may set in for you at some point and may lead to resentment and arguments. It is best to find a happy medium to discuss or vent your frustrations. If finding a happy medium in trying to make sense out of complex situations does not seem possible, then do not compromise your safety, sanity, and happiness or force things.
Your happy medium can be one or more of the following options below:
• Talk with your spouse, family, and loved ones: When something that they say or do concerns or troubles you because it doesn’t make sense to you, inquire about it and let them know that you would like to keep good things about your relationship intact. Make sure you get where they’re coming from to see if you may be able to help them.
• Talk with a close and trusted friend: Venting your anger or frustration to someone who cares about you, and you can trust is a great idea. You can also seek their perspective about whatever you feel may not make sense from your perspective. Be sure to inquire if they are mentally and emotionally in a good place to discuss concerns you have.
• Write things out: Writing helps with stress and anger and it's very easy to do. Create a journal of your thoughts and write whatever you want to in it that may help you organize your thoughts or the situation at hand. You don't have to write everything, just the incidents you need to unpack and sort out.
• Meditate: Meditation is another great stress reliever that can help you gather your thoughts. Freeing your mind is a great way to evaluate and make sense of what might be causing issues. Sometimes, we can gain clarity and solutions after we clear our minds.
• Realization: While it is possible to comprehend the reason(s) why someone thinks or behaves in inappropriate or poor ways, realize that you may still disagree with their decisions and actions or may never agree with their illogical views.
Consider The Reasons Why People Act The Way They Do
Acting out is usually a cry for help and an indication that traumatic events may be the reason why some people act with aggressiveness and little patience. For instance, some people express themselves the way they do because of heartbreak from a romantic relationship. This can cause them to have low self-esteem, lack self-love, and generally show a little level of care towards others or self-care.
Although it may be tempting to give them a taste of their own medicine and return fire with fire, sometimes it's best to be empathetic and patient. Hence, it is beneficial to ask for clarification about why they act the way they do. Conduct any research into issues that you suspect they may be dealing with, and consider either agreeing, disagreeing, or remaining neutral with their views. Sometimes, some folks do not even realize that what they are doing isn’t rational or making any logical sense. Oftentimes, some people who don't make any sense may be stuck in their ways. They may not have learned new and better behaviors, and/or may just refuse to consider other viewpoints.
Keep in Mind Other Reasons People Act Illogically
You might believe some people navigate life without any logic, due diligence, or research, and this could be true. However, there are a few instances where some individuals cannot seem to help how they express themselves daily.
Below is a list of reasons that might make a person act irrationally:
• Ignorance and lack of knowledge
• Lack of a trusted support system to offer them knowledge, sound guidance, and feedback
• Mental illness
• Genuine confusion
• Being (blindly) in love
• Obsession and compulsion
All the reasons mentioned above can affect the brain and are often noticed through illogical behavior among other symptoms.
Understand Ego and Pride May Be A Factor
The saying that goes "pride comes before a fall" exists for a reason and in this topic, it is crucial. Introspection is a very important part of learning and growing, however, for some people admitting their faults can be difficult. For people who find it difficult to put aside their ego to address their mistakes, they may never wish to think or do things, clearly, logically, better, or differently.
Without taking their faults into account and understanding how a situation might have contributed to their current situation, it may be difficult or impossible for them to grow. Life comes with teachable lessons and if they fail to acknowledge and successfully apply them, then they may keep on repeatedly falling into situations that don't make any sense.
Learn How To Tactfully, Wisely, Strategically, And Appropriately Engage or Disengage From Situations That Don't Make Sense
The last major skill that you need to learn when dealing with people and/or situations that don't make any sense is how to disengage or engage from them. After trying to evaluate and consider the intentions of whomever or whatever may have placed you in a negative or perplexing situation, it's up to you to decide to engage or disengage.
Sometimes, deciding to engage in situations or with others who do things that do not make sense can give you an opportunity to learn from them and their thought process. Sometimes, you may learn invaluable life lessons so long as it does not place you in harm’s way. Sometimes, you may feel like you are compelled to engage in situations that do not make sense to defend your family, reputation, and livelihood. Other times, disengaging may mean that you are avoiding unnecessary pain, drama, or conflict that can put you and/or your loved ones in harm’s way. Learning to discern when to engage or disengage when things do not make sense is important.
Here are a few tips to help you with either of the two options:
• Be aware on a surface and deeper level.
• Seek clarification
• Seek elaboration
• Be open to learn
• Be empathetic
• Be logical
• Seek probable solutions
• Understand that your feelings are valid and legitimate
• Take control of the situation
• Suggest a change of topic discussion
• Communicate for closure in discussions for lack of mutual understanding
• Excuse yourself from the situation
• Create and maintain boundaries
It's normal to find yourself in situations that don't make sense because you deal with different people every day. Further delving into matters for clarification or clarity can be helpful in getting answers and insight into situations or circumstances when dealing with others.
Deciding to engage or disengage in matters that do not make sense to you is entirely up to you and it’s helpful when you can use things such as empathy, knowledge, and feedback from trusted friends, professionals, and experts along with research, available resources, discernment, and good communication skills. Sometimes, even after putting forth genuine effort to comprehend people or make sense out of things that do not make sense, it can feel liberating to just let go, move forward, and not lose sleep about it. Try some of the tips mentioned above and you will find it easy to deal with people and life circumstances that may never make sense to you.