How To Best Get Unstuck From Your Past

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The past can seem to have a way of surfacing. Most times, life does not go how we have planned. Things that happen with us and around our life has a way to put us off. These situations can leave us feeling disappointed, angry, anxious, and otherwise. A failed relationship, the loss of a family member or loved one, a failed business deal, or past disappointments can make your mind and life pause. The brain has a way of making change difficult to accept and leaves us stuck in a place. Getting stuck affects mental health, and it happens to the best of us. It leaves us holding back and being afraid of moving forward. It is human for us to have limitations in our minds due to fear. Some primary reasons why people get stuck are due to the lack of self-love, unawareness, low self-worth, depression, and anxiety. Being stuck in the past can make you an unhappy mess. It distracts you from the present, and this affects your life generally. The easiest things can trigger our memory to make a mistake done in the past. The more you embrace these negative thoughts, it puts all areas of your life on a pause. We all have moments of nostalgia, but it becomes bad when you let these moments make you thrive on negativity.

BOB'S STORY

Bob has been in a relationship for two years with Tracy. Everything has been going well, and just some months into their wedding, Bob starts to embrace negative thoughts. He finds fault in everything Tracy does and picks a fight at any given opportunity. Whenever Tracy tries to have a conversation and understand why he is acting up, it leads to another fight or quarrel. Bob and Tracy did not realize that they were stuck on the insecurities and disappointments from his past relationship. He let negative thoughts grow in his mind due to the trauma from his past relationships. Somewhere in him, Bob felt Tracy would leave him for an ex while at the altar just as the lady before her did. He was stockpiling negative emotions and refused to accept change. Well, his relationship almost went down the drain until he decided to embrace self-awareness. Losing Tracy could have caused him a lot of regret and pain. It made him realize that Tracy was not the problem; it was him all along. He needed to get unstuck from his past. The tips below can help him and others.

MANAGING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Have you ever tried to suppress an emotion? It always sits back and waits for another moment before coming up. Bob did not deal with his feelings. He did not heal from his past, and he decided to jump into another relationship, trying to suppress what hurts the most. It can happen with work, family, or even people we barely know. Thinking negative thoughts can lead to depression. The best way to deal with negative emotions is by completely letting go of the past. Did a loved one say something hurtful? Let them know how you feel. Childhood trauma can have ways of surfacing in your thoughts. You were a child, and no matter how much you beat yourself up, you cannot go back in time to fix it. Realize that it was not your fault. It would help if you found peace within to embrace self-growth. Relaxing and taking a walk also helps to clear your head. Process and manage unavoidable feelings. It does not mean self-defeat. It only means that you are human. Be aware when you are thinking negatively. Realize that you can prepare for the worst and create new and different options that may positively affect your present and future circumstances. Get to the bottom of what triggered your negative thoughts. Was it past negative experiences that you allow to affect your present experiences? Is it possible that you do not have (enough) proof to confirm your negative thoughts? Are your negative thoughts inaccurate? Find ways to look at circumstances differently and expand your perspectives on how negative situations may contain opportunities or blessings. Repeatedly thinking the worse without managing your thoughts and being proactive to work on positive aspects in your life can mentally drain you and cause mental health issues.

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WAYS TO THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS

Positive thinking goes beyond saying words of affirmation to yourself every morning. It goes beyond denying, minimizing, or invalidating the authentic emotions and experiences of others. Face it. No matter how positive you are in life, negative thoughts may rear in your head. Becoming accustomed to managing negative thoughts well can prepare you to grow and move forward. You will need to open yourself to humor and spend time with positive people. Count the things you are most grateful for and embrace positive self-talk. When you identify your areas of negativity, it makes the work easier. Say to yourself, "The past is behind me. There is so much to look forward to" when you feel stuck in the past. Always focus on the right things and realize that challenges are a part of life. The positivity starts with being aware of checking any self-sabotaging and negative thoughts to grow and go forward. If you have been keeping up with our Cell Block Legendz inspirational articles, you may realize some recurring topics such as self-love, self-awareness, self-growth, etc. These occurrences are not by accident. Our inspirational articles intend to challenge you to work on your personal development, improve your life, and grow in these areas and others.

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HOW TO GET UNSTUCK FROM THE PAST

ACCEPT THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR PAST BUT LEARN FROM OR CHANGE YOUR THINKING AND ACTIONS:

Repeatedly living in one’s negative past and with excuses can provide one with a comfort zone. This comfort zone can subconsciously make one believe that they get a pass for not creating the changes they need to move forward from their past. It can feel scary or frustrating if one does not know where to begin to move ahead. However, one of the first things to realize is that you need to do things differently. Try something new as opposed to past actions that have not served and do not serve you. If you do not know where to begin, begin with finding out the knowledge you need that can help you to reap effective and positive results. You cannot grow and move past what has not or does not work if you are unwilling to first honestly review the behaviors that keep you stuck in your past. Work on learning and coming to terms with the fact that you cannot force others to change, and you can only change yourself and your actions to move past any hurt or pain from your past.

TALK TO SOMEONE:

Most times, all we need to do to let go of a situation is vent and talk about it. It can be difficult talking to people about your problems due to fear of being judged. Not everyone in your circle would, and there should be one or two people always ready to offer a listening ear. If Bob had let Tracy know about his fears, she may not have let him make decisions alone. If anything from your past is restricting your self-growth, find a loved one or someone you feel comfortable with and talk to them.

STOP COMPARISON:

You are you, and the other person is himself or herself. If we all moved and achieved things at the same pace, there will not be any excitement in the world. If you do not know other people's circumstances and minds, you cannot compare them to yourself. It is best to compare yourself to where you started, how far you have come, and where you are going. You are your only competition.

EMBRACE FAILURE:

…but do not get attached to it. Failures may be a part of success stories. You can learn a lot from failure as to what not to do anymore or by trying things, differently. If you fail at something you gave your best shot at, it will teach you a valuable lesson. We fail to see the good side of failing. It prepares you for what would come next. Embracing failure for a long time leaves you with regret and fear.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:

No one may believe in your confidence level if you do not and it is okay to exude it. However, an extreme display of arrogance or snobbishness can signal insecurity or narcissistic-like behavior. So, ask yourself if your goal is to convince yourself or others that you believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself, it means you are self-aware and grounded, and those are signs of self-growth. Say positive and kind words to yourself (and others). Let go of people who do not believe in you; they keep you in a stagnant position. Learn to act, set small goals, and start with baby steps.

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CONCLUSION

Learning to move forward from one’s past can be challenging. There can be opportunities for growth when one is successful at it. Honestly looking at one’s past actions and behaviors and being willing to change can help one to get unstuck from their past. Managing one’s negative thoughts and creating positive thoughts can help to keep one’s past from sabotaging one’s future. It may take baby steps to achieve something.

Talk to someone, believe in yourself, make wiser decisions, write gratitude lists and above all, always give yourself space with self-accountability or getting the lesson out of past pain to heal to move forward. Do not put a lot of pressure on yourself. Work on improving your life when faced with circumstances you cannot control or change. If you cannot do anything to change your past, then make peace with it. Work on letting go to move on and do your best without punishing yourself or others.