Matters that concern the heart
can be hard to handle. This statement is especially true when it comes to
breaking up or getting heartbroken. What makes a breakup even more
difficult is when the heartbreak comes from someone you deeply loved. Whether
you are the one who broke up with someone or your loved one broke up with you,
the pain can be the same or similar.
It can be heart-wrenching and
feel like your heart has been pierced into a million pieces. Heartbreak is
something everyone who experienced romantic love may have experienced. Those
who can relate know the kind of excruciating pain that one feels after getting
their heart broken by someone they deeply cared about or loved.
However, heartbreaks have a
way of draining you physically, emotionally, and psychologically. If not
controlled properly, you might find yourself dwelling in the breakup or falling
into an abyss of depression. Have you ever experienced heartbreak and do not
know how to come out of it? Moving on with your life is imperative and can only
be done if you can handle a broken heart properly. Hence, we will be providing
you with 10 Ways To Overcome Heartbreak By A Loved One.
Realize that it is not a time for you to brood and condemn
yourself. It can be easy for people suffering from a broken heart to blame
themselves. However, if you must move on, tell yourself that you still deserve
to be loved, valued, and appreciated. Whether you or your Ex caused the
breakup, reflect if there is anything you could have done differently to avoid
the outcome. Sometimes, a breakup or heartbreak holds lessons or blessings that
can allow you to come out on the other side equipped with new or better-coping
skills. In some circumstances, it is best to walk away with your self-esteem
and self-respect still intact rather than cause or stay in the line of fire of
more emotional damage. You might feel like your Ex has trampled on your
self-worth and self-esteem. You may feel like you are not worthy of being loved
again, but that is not true. There are several reasons why you still need to
hold your head high. So, if you are heartbroken, consider it to be a phase that
will eventually pass. Rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth and tell yourself
that you are worthy of being loved in a way that does not break you or your
heart. It is better to be single and happy than to remain in an unhappy
That You May Not Get An Apology And Don't Expect One
Waiting for an apology is one
error that most brokenhearted people make because when you keep waiting for
your partner to apologize, you will never move on. You may feel stuck in your
heartbreak and angry and frustrated with disappointment. It is normal to want
an explanation as to why your partner broke your heart, but why worry about
that when you can pick up the pieces of your life and move on, especially if
you have to ask for an apology? If you have to ask for an apology once it’s
clear that no care or consideration took place when hurting you, then the
apology may not be genuine. Once a breakup has happened, be bold enough to care
less about an apology or an explanation and accept that you may never get one.
Sometimes, it may be months or years later that you run into your Ex who broke
your heart, and they may admit that they miss you but still never admit they
hurt you or apologize for it. In this case, you would be setting yourself up
for more heartbreak with them.
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Ties And Contact
Cutting off all ties and having no contact with the one who broke your heart is an effective way of healing
faster. Although some people think getting an alternative as a rebound makes
you move on quicker, that is not correct. Why keep the contact with your ex and
subject yourself to more pain when you can discard it? You may experience the
temptation to give them a call. You might keep waiting for their phone call,
and when they do not, you end up hurting yourself even more. Hence, cutting off
all ties and contact is the best way to move on. Even if you found out that
your ex had an accident, fight the urge to run to them. Ignore and move on.
Staying away and having no contact with your Ex can open possibilities for you
to live again and start doing things you hesitated to do beforehand.
You Want And Have A Sober Reflection
There is no need to pretend
like the breakup does not hurt you when you are hurting inside. If you keep
pretending you are not in pain, then you will only be harming yourself. Cry out
all you want. There is a saying that when you cry, you feel less pained and a
lot better. Therefore, you need to know that there is not anything wrong with
crying. Reflect on the relationship. You may see that there were signs that
were there. You may have missed them because of love. Pen down the times if you
were abused and mistreated by your ex. If you feel the urge to pick up your
phone to call them, the abuse and mistreatments you wrote down can be there to
remind you of how they may have mistreated or abused you. Ask yourself if you
come off desperate for approval or love. If so, realize that it is not good,
and some people may take advantage of you or your vulnerabilities.
Your Emotions To A Cause Or Passion That You Love
Another way to ease your pain
is channeling your emotions to doing something that will make you happy. Being
heartbroken can have the power to affect your mental well-being if you never
saw the signs. Instead of hating and cursing, constructively, and positively
channel your anger and emotions into that passion of yours. Open the door to self-discovery
and learn the things that float your boat in ways you never thought. Once you
find what you are passionate about outside of a relationship, you may realize
how happy and fulfilled you feel in no time.
Image Source: Pixabay
And Have Fun
It might be quite hard. The
last thing on your mind may be laughing and having fun when you are pained and can be challenging. Learn to laugh away your sorrows, anyway. Laugh when
you do not feel like laughing. Do not lock yourself up and cry all day. Go out,
hang out with friends, and catch some fun. You can as well travel if need be
and take a break from work. Meet new people and visit fun places with your
friends. Save and invest your energy into people that value you. Pull out your
bucket list. Re-introduce yourself to your former, fun, and light-hearted self.
Do what makes you feel alive!
For some people, the word
forgiveness is like profanity after they experience heartbreak. While trying to
move on and heal from a broken heart, you also need to learn how to forgive
everyone that has hurt you so you can move ahead. If you felt you made wrong
decisions that have put you in the mess you are in, do not blame yourself too
much. Forgive yourself and move on. When you can forgive yourself, then you can
as well forgive the person who broke your heart. Bearing a grudge against them
or yourself will not make you feel any better.
Image Source: Pixabay
probably affecting your mental health if you feel you cannot move forward alone
because the heartbreak may be taking a toll on you. It is time to get help. You
can decide to see a therapist, talk to one so you can get better.
It is time to kick out negativity and focus on everything
positive. See the positive side of you, explore every positivity, and never let
any hateful words or negative thoughts stick to your memory. Love is like a drug.
Falling and being in love with someone who broke your heart can feel like
getting over a cocaine addiction. Research shows that we are hard-wired to get
over heartbreak and find new love (Daily Mail, 2015). However, this must start
with self-love and not allowing oneself to be pulled into or caught up in
abusive or toxic love. Instead, believe that you are positively worth being
treated well and address mistreatment.
When you feel you have
recovered from heartbreak, the next step is to move forward. Move on with your
life, carry on with your daily activities, and pretend like your ex never
existed. Work on not making the error of quickly jumping into another
relationship as it might be another pending disaster. Give yourself ample time
Holding onto any fantasy(s)
you have for a happy future with someone who is abusive, toxic, negligent, and broke
your heart can destroy your outlook on what healthy relationships look like. If
someone is not making clear, consistent, considerate, and convincing actions to
show you that they have changed and no longer want to emotionally damage or hurt you,
then it is not worth romantically dealing with them again or at all. This can
prevent you from healing.
Repeatedly going back for more
heartbreak from non-remorseful heartbreakers is not the answer. Accepting that
some folks may never treat you how you positively deserve to be treated is a
good step in getting over heartbreak by someone who you want to be with, but
they do not want you. Be open to coming out on the other side of rejection,
pain, and heartbreak not being bitter or damaged goods.
Heartbreak can pierce the heart
so deeply that some people may not be able to take the pain when it comes.
However, suicide, self-harm, or harming others should never be options because
you still have your whole life ahead of you and you can still find the kind of
love that will not hurt you. However, if you are heartbroken, put the above
steps into practice so you can heal from a broken heart. When all else fails,
picture your Ex being miserable with someone else (just kidding - Lol). The
bigger picture begins and ends with self-love, self-awareness, not being
desperate for acceptance, managing things within one’s control, coming out
better, stronger, wiser, and being courageous enough to love again whether you
find new love or not.
Davies, M. (2015, March 26). You can recover from heartbreak:
Scientists discover humans are hardwired to overcome