10 Good Ways To Tell If Someone Is Negatively Manipulating You
Image Source: Pixabay
Do you know that manipulation is practically everywhere? It
could be in every phase of one's life. For instance, if you're in a relationship,
your partner can be manipulating you without your knowledge. Even your family,
friends, kids, and not to mention co-workers, can try to coerce you into
thinking certain ways or carrying out acts.
Well, it must be mentioned that manipulation isn’t always
negative. It can involve positive persuasion, truth, and benefits, which involve
you doing things that you want to do with no negative impact on you by others. It
is important to know that it is the intent of others behind manipulation that
matters, which is important to learn and discern.
It isn't everyone who is aware or can detect if they are
being negatively manipulated. So, if you fall under the category of not knowing
when you are being negatively manipulated, then this article is for you. It
would be beneficial on your part to keep reading this article as we highlight
some of the ways to tell if someone is manipulating you without good intentions.
Before we dive into the topic of discussion, let’s define the meaning of
What Is Manipulation?
Manipulation is usually an act of being tricky or deceptive
to another individual to get something out of the situation, out of them, or
something done. Some of the prominently known examples of manipulative behaviors
are dishonesty, a self-serving interest, depriving a partner of sex to obtain a
goal, depriving an individual of information, and in some cases, verbal, and
emotional abuse. Manipulation can also involve someone blaming you for
appropriately and politely reacting to their offensive behaviors toward you.
Ways To Detect When
Being (Negatively) Manipulated:
1.They Give You The Silent Treatment: A manipulative individual can decide on giving you the
silent treatment. This is one power that a manipulative person uses on someone
who is vested in them. Some of the possible intentions of manipulators using
the silent treatment are to make you feel inferior, control you, or leave you
with no choice other than bowing to their demands. They may (abruptly) cut off
conversations with you and go silent when it is not going in the direction they
want, or they are unable to successfully use manipulation with you to get the
end results they are seeking.
2.They Disingenuously Behave Nicely Toward You Only When They Need Something: One way to detect someone is
being manipulative is when they play nice only when they feel like it. It could be
in your place of work where you keep doing most of the tasks and co-workers fail
to acknowledge the efforts you make. They may totally decide on not being nice
to you or some can just be nice to you only when they deem fit. The risk in falling
for this tactic is that the manipulator may abandon you after they get what
they want yet to feel entitled to re-enter your life using manipulative tactics
to use or take advantage of you.
3.They Tend To Play The Victim: If
you ever need a sign to know when you are being manipulated, then this is one.
Manipulators always tend to play the victim., even when they are preying on
others. This is like guilt-tripping or placing blame on others, especially when
they are not being accountable for their actions and how they affect others.
4.They Pretend To Show Concern: This
is more like showing or exhibiting fake feelings towards someone. A
manipulative person might come off like they feel remorseful especially when
something terrible happens to you. However, they really do not care and are acting
out a role to make you believe they care when they do not.
5.They Start Off With A Small Request: One possible way to know when you are being manipulated is
when a manipulative individual lowballs you and starts off with a small request.
This can be their way of getting you committed to their mission or task. It
could be something very simple that later builds up to a concrete or difficult task to do. This can leave you on the edge, especially when they
finally get to the last stage of their request. Some people may feel like they
must comply with the manipulator’s large demands after falling for fulfilling a
smaller related demand. Do not fall for this manipulative tactic.
How Manipulators Can
Be Dishonest And Inconsiderate
Manipulators are generally good at being deceptive. They
really do not care about anyone other than using their victims to accomplish a
mission either unwillingly or forcefully. Manipulators can be inconsiderate.
They can fail to consider how their actions negatively impact others. They can
be rude, disrespectful, and thoughtless, and not care about how others feel.
What To Know When Being
Manipulated By Significant Others
It is always a good thing to learn to recognize when being
emotionally, financially, mentally, socially and otherwise manipulated by
significant others. In some cases, they usually come up with the following:
• There Are Strings Attached: A
manipulative individual usually doesn't do anything for free. They tend to want
something in return. For instance, their partner or a close friend might offer them
sex to get a huge favor in return. Now, some people may debate if this is an
illegal act of prostitution if money or some form of gain is involved or if it
is not considered prostitution because the exchange involves their significant
other and not a stranger. That discussion is for another topic. For this topic,
the manipulative individual usually needs a favor from their significant other
and they are more than willing to offer or present them with good (sexual) deeds.
• They Make You Feel Fear And Obligation: There are usually
three factors in manipulative behavior. They tend to instill fear, guilt, and
even obligation. There may be a fear in the individual being manipulated of
losing something of perceived value or fear of unwanted consequences.
Manipulators can be skilled at making others feel guilty so that others cave
into their motives. Once someone falls prey to the tactics and traps of a manipulator,
they may develop a sense of false obligation to the manipulator. If in any
situation you find yourself in such confusion, then you might want to stay
aware and vigilant as you may be being negatively manipulated.
Furthermore, on another note, it would interest you to know
that some people in society are being positively persuaded and/or negatively manipulated
every day on social media, by print messages they see, the music they listen to, the news
they hear, and product advertisements. Some product advertisements may persuade
you to buy a product or unethically coerce you into buying a product that would
serve you no purpose or one that you do not need. It is important to be
cognizant of when you are being manipulated and how you are being influenced by
what you see or hear.
So, what are some of the ways people can learn to
constructively cope and deal with manipulation tactics and behaviors?
Image Source: Pixabay
How To Deal With (Negative)
Manipulation Tactics And Behaviors
The following are some of the ways or possible solutions to
deal with manipulation tactics:
1.Trust Your Judgment: If in any way you get a sense of
being played or coerced into doing things that are contrary to your beliefs,
values, and standards, then you could address it with the manipulator and
decline to be manipulated.
2.Never Ask For Permission: One possible way to deal with
manipulation tactics is to never ask a manipulator for their permission before
doing what you know is right or correct. Once you ask a manipulator for their
permission, you are essentially opening the door for a manipulator to manipulate
you and sway circumstances or outcomes their way, which may not be in your best
3.Stop Compromising: Another way to deal with manipulative behavior is to desist
from compromising. This goes to say that no matter where you find yourself, be
it in a relationship, in a work environment with your co-workers, or in other
situations, it is imperative that you stop compromising and learn to say “No”
to a manipulator.
4.Disregard What They Say Or Do: This is a coping skill you
would have to be willing to learn to deal with manipulation tactics. When you
give the manipulator leverage or an opportunity to thrive, they tend to grab it,
utilize that opportunity, and run with it. However, when you tactfully and
skilfully disregard their attempts and tactics to manipulate you, then you can render
them powerless. Bear in mind that a
manipulator may not cease and desist from trying to manipulate you in the
future despite your awareness of their tactics. Keep a positive outlook despite
any negative manipulation tactics of others.
Image Source: Unsplash
An individual may work on maintaining some level of
consistency when attempting to manipulate you positively or negatively. They may
persist in their behaviors until they are successful in achieving their mission
or decide to back down when they see that they are unable to manipulate you at
all. It is important to not only know when you are being manipulated but also
know how best to counter manipulation tactics being thrown at you, every day.
Hopefully, this article gave you a good start to identify manipulative
behaviors to deal with and nullify negative manipulation tactics and live a positive
and better life.