10 Best Ways To Be Realistic About Your Expectations And Prevent Disappointment
As you may know, not
everything goes as planned. As a result, you may feel misled, dissatisfied, and
melancholy.
You've probably heard the
adage, "If you expect nothing from someone, you'll never be
disappointed."
That remark is accurate; just
about everyone may have experienced disappointment at some point in life. However,
the more relevant question is: How frequently do you let yourself down by
having unrealistic expectations of yourself or others?
Find out why you're
continuously disappointed and how to decrease your expectations, not your
standards.
If you're continuously
dissatisfied...
It can be normal.
Disappointment is a natural component of the human condition. We form ideas and
goals in our heads, which we then transform into expectations. We may get
unhappy with the outcome when others fail to meet our expectations. Constant
disappointment can leave you feeling dissatisfied, depressed, and hurt.
As a way out, you may go the opposite way and attempt to be apathetic about everything. It is, nevertheless, difficult to go through life with no expectations, especially when others have their own. Lowering expectations without compromising your self-respect, self-dignity, standards, and values while still expressing your needs, beliefs, and identity is a good start.
What can cause this feeling of dissatisfaction? False promises, unrealistic aspirations, and self-deception can be the primary reasons for disappointment.
1. False promises result from the intentional
misleading of others. It is not always the case that presumed friends or
colleagues misinterpret a situation: it does not have to be purposeful
dishonesty. Such a setback is unanticipated, and you may have little or no
control over the circumstances or individual(s) who mislead you or make you
false promises. You are severely dissatisfied and feel misled, especially when
dealing with ostensibly good pals. However, you do have control over how you
choose to deal with it, which can be positive and learning the lesson or
lessons to help you grow.
2.
Be accountable for your unrealistic
expectations. Even if it sounds harsh, this might be due to a misunderstanding
or having unrealistic expectations of people. Some people blame others, even
when their thoughts and actions are at fault.
3.
Impatience and a false self-image are common
causes of self-deception. Perfectionism is an excellent example. You may change
your attitude if it is the source of your disappointment. For example, future
expectations might be adjusted to reality to avoid self-delusion; this reduces
the likelihood of disappointment.
In this article, I want to share some interesting points that shed light on this topic and, more importantly, show you the 10
Best Ways To Be Realistic About Your Expectations And Prevent Disappointment.
1. Understanding That There Are No Ideal Individuals Or Situations
One of the biggest reasons
individuals are often disappointed is because they want others or things to be
ideal. Unfortunately, it is not always the case in real life. Perfection is an ideal
that does not exist in the actual world. Once you embrace this reality, it is
easy to quit setting your goals too high and accept things beyond your control as they are. You
will be less inclined to become agitated over little matters and will learn to
flow more easily.
2. Conduct Some Self-Examination
Expectations are frequently
formed by the images that others have for you. Even if they don't exactly
correspond with your particular hopes, you may absorb them and carry them
forward.
Consider whether your life
expectations connect with you when you begin evaluating them. Would accomplishing those objectives make you happy and fulfill you? If not, you may find it
simpler to let go and redirect your efforts to reframing the most critical
goals.
3. Create Resilience Against Disappointment
If things don't work out with
your employment, or other pursuits, you may be disappointed. You should view
reality for what it is. Is that such a horrible thing? If you make an error,
you can learn what you need to do differently next time. There is nothing you
can do if someone else is at fault. Simply looking ahead and working diligently on
moving on, allowing your disappointed sentiments but not allowing them to knock
you down, is how you take them to heart. Keep the faith, prepare as best as possible, and work diligently and wisely toward your goal(s) in life when faced with setbacks or roadblocks.
It is impossible to prevent
disappointment. When you recognize this, you can instantly feel stronger: you
accept the risk and reality of being disappointed without giving up. You know you can handle
this. This resilience can shield you from being hurt or devastated by others.
4. Allow Yourself To Enjoy What You Have
When you spend most of your
time focusing on what you want, it is easier to lose sight of the blessings you
currently have. The relentless quest for a dream home, a seven-figure income,
or the ideal relationship might leave you with little time for loved ones, enthusiasm,
and life's most treasured pleasures.
That is not to say that you
should not have plans or objectives. There's nothing wrong with pursuing
happiness, a solid salary, and a loving relationship. Still, spending less time
looking ahead and more time living in the now may help you see how you've
already exceeded some of your aspirations.
5. Keep In Mind That You Can Only Control Yourself
When setting or attempting to
force your expectations onto others, it might be helpful to consider if you
have any ultimate influence over the circumstance. People have attempted and
failed throughout history to foretell the whims of life. Expectations focusing
on what you want people to do and especially disregarding what they desire
frequently fall flat.
Keep emphasizing the areas
over which you have control – your actions, attitude, and decisions — for more realistic
and attainable results.
6.
Show
Respect
Any connection, romantic or
otherwise, is built on respect. Respect is valuing the other person's viewpoint
and wants; this is the foundation of productive communication. Never jokingly
belittle your partner to correct them to show respect! Instead, look for a
lighthearted, sympathetic approach to deflect a dispute. From there, you may
identify answers without causing extra stress.
7.
Maintain
An Open Mind
One thing to remember
regarding false expectations: they may be rather strict. In reality, things can
turn quickly and without notice. These modifications may open certain doors
while closing others. The more adaptable your objectives are, the more they can
accommodate life's volatility.
8.
Prepare
For The Worst While Hoping For The Best
While confidence is necessary,
you should also be realistic about setting expectations.
"Hope for the best, but
prepare for the worst," as the saying goes; this applies to forecasting
things you can't control and your skills. Instead of anticipating the ideal
outcome, set your goals on something considerably more achievable and
acceptable. Be mentally prepared for outcomes to go either way after you’ve
given it your all.
9.
Don’t
Assume Everyone Shares Your Views
We are frequently disappointed
in relationships because we believe the other individual sees and cares about
the same things we do; this is an assumption that is bound to elicit rage and
disappointment. Remember that everyone interprets things differently. Inquire
about and respect theirs.
10.
Know
When To Seek Assistance
You may want assistance in
getting over disappointment at times. Unfortunately, it will not be enough even
if you have a fantastic support network. When this happens, you should seek
expert and/or experienced assistance.
A mental health expert will guide
you through your emotions and teach you how to deal with them. In addition,
they will give you coping methods to help you make sense of your emotions and
put things in perspective.
Conclusion
Setting expectations is part
of how our minds are organized. However, to avoid future disappointment, it is
critical to focus on creating reasonable expectations. To make this work, you
must cultivate self-awareness and avoid typical cognitive biases. Finally, your
expectations should be founded. Knowing that setbacks are bound to happen, this
may imply you're living life, and you may be precisely where you need to be,
learning what you need to learn to progress or exceed your goals even when things don’t go your way.
References
1. https://hbr.org/2018/08/dealing-with-disappointment
3.https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.1078.3045&rep=rep1&type=pdf
4.https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-love-relationships.htm