10 Awesome Ways To Deal With People Who Use Humor To Harm Others
Everyone wasn’t born to be a
comedian and you may have witnessed or experienced a time in your life when a questionable or cruel joke disguised as innocent humor cut like a knife.
Regardless of whatever cadre of
society you come from, you may have witnessed or experienced at least two instances where
someone told a joke that had you asking "Really???" Whether it was
in a classroom, with a group of friends, or from a lousy stand-up comedian you
paid quite a lot to see, the hang still remains that such a joke was made with
the intention to make another individual appear weaker and most importantly, a very
terrible joke.
However, if you claim to have the most modest group of people around you, surely you may have watched incidents between others where a joking crack led to an entirely different tale. If you’ve ever been faced with a questionable joke or not, you probably do not ever want to be left wondering how to best handle the situation.
So, here are 10 Awesome Ways To Deal With People Who Use Humor To Harm Others:
• Stay Calm
In order not to have yourself
pictured as the “bad guy” (or gal), try as much as possible to keep your nerves
under control. Whether such a joke was made targeting you, or someone else,
just breathe in and out for a bit, calculate the possible damage to come from
what you are about to do or say, and re-think any urges to commit physical violence.
When you are calm, the most reasonable side of yourself is in play, hence
avoiding any possible rash reactions.
Image Source: Pixabay
• Don’t Laugh
Keeping a straight face and not laughing at a joke may be interpreted in two possible ways. Either it wasn't funny, or it simply can never be funny. When you do not laugh at a toxic or offensive joke, it can show that you have no interest in such humor. Nip such jokes in the bud by maintaining eye contact with the “comedian” to show you are serious. This can also throw them off their game, so later on, you may end up getting the last laugh from there.
• Ask Them To Explain The Joke
This move is best AFTER you are
calm. Sometimes, the unwholesome joke teller may not even be aware that
whatever he or she said might have such negative effects, until they are asked
to explain what they said. A simple "...And what did you mean by
that?" or “I don’t get it.” may go a long way in opening the joker's mind
to the harm done. However, remember to remain calm, because on occasions
whereby such an individual is aware of the horrid nature of their joke, the
explanation might come with a little bit of awareness or feelings of aggravation
on their part even if you have no malicious intentions against them.
• Respectfully Communicate That The Joke Is Offensive
It is important to let an individual
know such a matter is not meant for laughing purposes for you. Most times,
these jokes aim at sensitive topics, such as race, religion, or sex, which can make
people very uncomfortable, and angry. So, rather than putting up a display of
rage, quietly wait till it is over, and RESPECTFULLY explain why you don't like
such a joke. That kind of motive will sell you as a much more sensible individual.
Image Source: Pixabay
•
Be Clear About What You Do And Don’t Find Funny
This is a long-term solution, as
everyone around you can become aware of topics you don't relate to in a
humorous manner. Different people come with absolutely different senses of
humor. While you might prefer mild jokes, others around you might like the
darker side. So, it is best you let your sensitive areas be known. Unbeknownst
to others, you may have faced a form of grief earlier, or have certain
discussions that have you on edge. It’s okay to let people know about such
things, without going into great detail rather than just laugh at a joke even while
it hurts to make someone else feel good. Your feelings do matter. Forget about
being tagged "selfish" or “uptight”.
•
Don’t Fall For The Gaslight Of Being Too Sensitive
"You’re no fun."…"Isn't
it just a joke?"…"You’re too serious. Relax."...You're personalizing things." These may be some
of the comments you might get when you make topics known that you don't find
comfortable. Regardless, such comments aren't worth changing your perspective
towards anything.
Having joking fun isn't all about what
makes other people happy. It’s also about what makes you laugh or happy. So, if
you’re tagged a wet blanket because you don't laugh at sexist or racially-related
jokes, then feel free to remain as wet as you can.
Image Source: Pixabay
•
Don’t Deny Yourself A Good Laugh From A Proper Joke
No matter how conservative you may
or may not be, don't hinder an opportunity to laugh when a joke is good and
funny. It doesn't mean you are weak; it just shows that you know quality
comedy. Even if a sensitive joke has just been told, let the good ones that
come after get at least a chuckle. Because c'mon, all jokes may not leave you
sober.
•
Be Willing To Let The Joke Slide
Yeah, it sounds absurd, but you can simply
just let it go if you choose. You may believe that the joke is borderline
offensive, but not so egregious that it warrants your time and energy. You may
believe that if malicious intent is involved on the part of the joke teller, then justice will surely be served eventually, and that's how life is. Fate may have it that the joke may end up on them.
• Walk Away
"He who walks away from a bad
joke will live to fight another day." It may not be the best time for such
a confrontation, so you may decide to just back up and walk off. This may not
mean that the battle against foul jokes is over. You still may decide to
address the offensive jokester at a more appropriate time.
•
Give Them A Taste Of Their Own Medicine
After walking away, the time to address
the joke teller may eventually arise. This may be the last straw. Some people
can be quite stubborn, ignorant, and callous in refusing to take a hint that
their jokes are unwelcome, and you just may have to strike back to make a
statement. So, you may consider if being equally rash towards them may help
them get the picture, and let them know how it feels to be in that kind of
situation. However, if it comes down to this, you may wish to re-evaluate your
dealings with them altogether.
Image Source: Pixabay
Image Source: Pixabay
In conclusion, telling jokes isn’t
the only way to make people laugh. Be aware of people’s conversations and
reactions to see what makes them smile, sad, or angry and you can get a good
idea of whether or how you should joke with them or not. Remember not to hurt
people's feelings or directly make a personal attack against others with jokes to
feel validated or accepted by others. Work on being a considerate and aware individual
and share this article if you enjoyed it.
References
https://smallbusiness.chron.com/deal-inappropriate-jokes-work-18007.html
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/managing-conflicts-with-humor.htm