How To Best Let Go Of What Is Really Bothering You Right Now
Life is filled with challenges and as humans, our endless needs and desires can be a plague to our present joys. We concern ourselves with what tomorrow will bring or the mistakes of yesterday, that can cloud our judgment of today’s beauty. Worry is a constant hold on something obscure, that may come with life’s pangs. This is usually something that we do not have any control over, but we ruminate on it, in an attempt to solve it.
“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” Arthur Somers Roche
Through life's travails, one thing is also constant apart from change. Those are the stumbling blocks we encounter on our way to success. No one’s ride is the smoothest and rest assured that our present sufferings will never compare to what is in store for tomorrow. Rest easy!
Triggers for Worry and Anxiety
The triggers for worry and anxiety are numerous, yet similar for most people. This is because our needs as humans are similar yet with different modifications. Here are the major triggers for things that may consistently bother us:
1. Lack of food
2. Lack of finances
3. Inadequate shelter
4. Unemployment or a job you detest
5. Illness or health problems
6. Relationship problems, disagreements, or arguments
7. Perceived inadequacies
8. Insecurities, etc.
All these and more can be consistent triggers that bother you and cause a lot of anxiety. As second to nature as these may sound, it is important to understand that your life should not be spent worrying about these things. There are ways to live a life that is void of worry and anxiety. Easier said than done right? We will show you how doable it is through the below. Stay with us!
Ways To Let Go Of Things That Bother You Presently:
· Pinpoint EXACTLY What Is Bothering You: Sometimes, you may carry around that nagging feeling and just feel downright agitated for what seems like no reason. Then, all of a sudden it may hit you and you recall or figure out what is bothering you. It may be something from a prior conversation between one and one’s significant other that did not go well earlier in the day. It could be from an incident that happened at work yesterday that was never (properly) addressed or resolved. It may be from feeling nervous about a job interview that you have next week that you’re nervous about. You may have just gone about your way only to realize later that feelings such as anxiety, disappointment, or anger may surface out of nowhere that are bothering you, NOW. So, now that you know what’s bothering you, now what?
· Focus And Work On Taking Immediate Action NOW: Sometimes, the only way to slay what is bothering you at the moment is to arm or distract yourself with productive activities that put into immediate practice things that address or resolve your current feelings. Are you distracted or easily distracted by other things going on that are not a priority? Are you subconsciously avoiding having to deal with an unpleasant situation that arose or may arise? If so or not, what is the sense of worrying or allowing it to eat at you? Focus on the now. Ask yourself, “What can I do about this right now?” Once you decide to focus on the now, you are already a step closer to solving your concerns. Channel your energy into what you have control over. Even if it is a dire need, constructively and non-harmfully seek out immediate or strategic options or solutions to your needs and attend to them duly. Do not let the worries about what you have going on now bother you so much so that it cripples your ability to see life.
The first step is to decide to see and do only that which you have control over and focus on that. Next, work with what you have at the moment. Then, you will start to see things differently. Set aside some time with your loved one to constructively express your feelings or disagreements about an earlier conversation. Make that doctor’s appointment for a second opinion about any health concerns. Go for a walk, jog, exercise, or read a book. Practice constructively addressing or resolving situations immediately. Work on taking immediate actions to do what you need to do to de-stress, or address what is bothering you NOW or ASAP.
· Tilt your Perspective: When you can’t seem to let go of a strain of thought or are just deeply burdened by it, you just may need to change your perspective. Remember the saying about not viewing the glass as half empty, but seeing it as half full? Well, this may just be the deal-breaker you did not know you needed. How about planning to envision your glass full and running over with abundance to pour some abundance into someone or something else? Let a change of mindset and your view towards that situation that bothers you show you a different approach to handling your worries.
· Be Emotionally Intelligent: Just like our IQ, our emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in our happiness and success. Emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) is your being able to use, understand, and be in control of your own emotions. By being in control of your emotions, here we mean being able to do it positively and not throwing temper tantrums or dishing out verbal or emotional abuse towards others because you’re feeling bothered. Also, being emotionally intelligent helps you navigate through burdensome events. From maturely understanding how to communicate effectively, to stress relief, being able to empathize with others can help overcome conflict or challenges. Once you start to strengthen the core of your emotional intelligence, here are attributes that start to develop naturally:
a) Self-Management – You are better able to control your feelings and emotions positively, control your impulses, acclimatize to change, and be more disciplined. You may consider resting, relaxing, or doing something that takes your mind off what’s bothering you until you decide to address it and seek solutions asap rather than allow what’s bothering you to linger.
b) Relationship Management- Your relationship with others may no longer suffer due to your inability to communicate properly or constant projections of your fears, insecurity, and anxiety towards others.
c) Self-Awareness- Your awareness of self is from knowing who you are from the good, bad, and everything in between. A love for self and acceptance of things you need to work on, wholly. Being aware of self means that there is only so much that can get to you because you know who you are and are not controlled by external forces. Yes, this may be difficult when others may work to push your buttons or bring you out of character. No one is perfect. However, knowing yourself can help you better manage negative triggers and avoid negative outcomes.
· Give Social Media A Break: As much as this has been a tool for a lot of success and progress in our society, it has also been one of the leading causes of depression, anxiety, clout-chasing, and unhealthy competition. If being in the media space triggers your inadequacies or compels you into a sunken place, then it is okay to take some time off. For example, if you follow people on Instagram or Twitter whose lifestyle reminds you of all that is lacking in your life, do well to mute them or unfollow them for your sanity. Never be suppressed into a worrisome life that is spurred by what others have, that you do not. Take the time away from social media to improve your life by working on your personal growth and your goals.
· Let Go: It could be hurt that you have been carrying from a failed relationship, a divorce, a recalcitrant child, a lost business contract, etc. Whatever the case may be, you must let go. This burden in your heart is only setting you captive from the life of freedom, fulfillment, and happiness you deserve. Forgive any past hurt and only then can you set yourself free. Insist within oneself to immediately resolve things within one’s control if/when negative thoughts or feelings re-surface and do what you can to prevent giving into unproductive thoughts and actions that can set or keep you back.
· Find a Support System: For some, this may be verbally venting to a friend or someone good at helping others take one day at a time. It may be in offering prayers to the God they serve. Prayers have been known to alleviate the pain people go through. For Christians, the faith in Jesus and his ability to ease one’s pain and sorrow are obtainable. It could be any other religion you practice. People who believe in a Higher Supreme being, then can live more peaceful lives with regards to whatever bothers them. In this case, their Higher Being served has been made a strong support system.
Call a trusted friend to vent. Seek out and consult with mentors, role models, or coaches with expertise. Set up that appointment for mock interviews and feedback from a job counselor or coach if you have anxiety about your upcoming job interview. Reach out to the Small Business Administration to begin your path to self-employment.
In other cases, a therapist may do. Or a support group, filled with people going through similar or different situations and they share willingly, to encourage each other. Seek out older and more experienced people who have traveled down the road you’re traveling already and find out what things they did to overcome the same or similar issues as you when things bothered them.
Learning to let go of what bothers you now is not a process that can be completed in a day. It is a process through life, more like a journey where one works to master the process and limit or manage negative effects. One that will require you to travel light, purposefully, and intentionally.